hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize