Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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