somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize