i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
