his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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