Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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