my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
