The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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