You really coming over, don't trick.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
