i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
