Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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