it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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