was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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