My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
