I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
