Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
