Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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