You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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