Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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