The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
