Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
