Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You just made me feel so damn special
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
