You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
