just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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