take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
this hospital has no fireball
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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