She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
