I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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