I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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