He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
