16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
