Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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