I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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