mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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