The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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