I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
