I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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