I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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