I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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