Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
