You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
