Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think your dad took our porno
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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