she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
These tits shall not be calmed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize