Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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