You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
