Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
