Nicole vs. Life
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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