It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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