super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
