wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
