I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
