Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
