maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
