don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
