I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
